May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
We left an ass print on the piano.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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