I love black thongs
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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