ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
she told me i tasted like america
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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