We're like a lot better than the average bears
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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