im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
