Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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