the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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