Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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