Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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