Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
