I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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