super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You can't motorboat a personality
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
