come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
