drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
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