I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
