Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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