im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
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