remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize