My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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