If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Is it because I queefed?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize