"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
