Jerry, you need to find god
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
It's never too late to be topless.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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