Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
