he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I need to calm my uterus...
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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