i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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