can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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