Capitaan dildo arrescate!
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Randomize
