In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize