Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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