Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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