mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
