That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
