She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
i think i just lost a toe
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize