THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
