I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
