Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I'm always down for nudity.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
