I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize