is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
