You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
