I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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