perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
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