Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
