he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
