so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
