Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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