If i could tip my vagina, i would.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
