Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Houston, we have a blender
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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