She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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