it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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