apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
