so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize