i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
