I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
