Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
