Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
