Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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