I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
