I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize