i don't plan on having that self control this summer
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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