Porn is love you can see.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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