Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Just fell off a train. Bad.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
