she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
