He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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