Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
