what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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