help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
