Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize