I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize