went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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