Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
