I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
too bad you live with your parents still
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
