You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
