he quoted the bible to break up with me
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
And then my night got REAL pukey
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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