Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
