I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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