Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
