whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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