apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
